Noch Mal! Ostwestfalen, Ostwestfalen, Arminia Bielefeld!!!

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=356381&cc=5901

I know no one else in the world will care, but this afternoon Arminia Bielefeld sent themselves through to the semi final of the Deutsche Pokal by beating Offenbach. Hoorah Bielefeld! St. Pauli also won by defeating Werder Bremen. This is also noteworthy because of the culture, atmosphere, tradition and constant pressure surrounding the club from Hamburg.

That being said, Allez Allez Bielefeld!!!!!!

2 in one night

This is so outrageous I just had to comment. I'm watching Minneapolis public access TV right now. The screen is just a big confederate flag, and a narrator telling the viewer, in the wake of Katrina, about what a threat the "negro" is to the white man in the South. The narrator goes on to suggest that the 2nd ammendment is the White man's greatest asset for keeping the "negro at bay," and that Katrina proved how far "negroes can degenerate." The solution? Send all the black people to Africa, which is uninhabited according to the narrator, and in need of people.

I'm not kidding. This is actually on TV right now. Sickening. . .

Overrated

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=stein_marc&id=2302749

Last night LA Lakers star Kobe Bryant scored 81 points in a basketball game against the Toronto Raptors. Since then, the media has been falling all over itself to proclaim Kobe the best player ever.

I personally don't understand it. Yeah, Kobe is putting up monster numbers, but this is only because his team STINKS. Honestly, who else do the Lakers have besides Kobe? The only reason Kobe scores so much is because he's the only one who can. Look at the Lakers W/L record, and you'll see they're only a few games above .500, and will probably get knocked out early in the playoffs because the team has no one besides Kobe.

Explanation please?

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/01/17/allen.death.ap/index.html

This quote is taken from the above article:

"Having suffered a heart attack back in September, Allen had asked prison authorities to let him die if he went into cardiac arrest before his execution, a request prison officials said they would not honor.
"At no point are we not going to value the sanctity of life," said prison spokesman Vernell Crittendon. "We would resuscitate him," then execute him."


If this logic makes sense to anyone, could you please explain it to me, because I sure as hell don't understand it.

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris Facts

When I was home, Woobie hated every movie I mentioned to him. Finally I asked him, "Is there anything you do like?"

He replied: "Yes, Delta Force. Chuck Norris rocks!"

Woobie, this is for you.

Believing in Buffalo

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=burnside_scott&id=2290162

Ok, so its been a while since a feel-good story has been written about my beloved Sabres. Finally though, people are staring to notice that the team is en fuego. At least something is going right back home.

Rock 'em Sabres!!!

More fun with VH1

This afternoon I was watching my favorite channel VH1 again. This time it was the "Top 100 Child Stars of All-Time." Now, this was actually entertaining (gasp!). However, even more entertaining were the commercials. Within a 15 min. span, I saw commercials for Viagra, KY Jelly, and Herpes medication. More creative, inventive euphanisms I have never heard.

On my soapbox

Its 1:30, and I'm about to go to bed, but before I do I want to comment briefly about a TV show I was just watching. Having missed the Daily Show tonight, I began to flip forward, looking for something else to watch for a 1/2 an hour or so before going to bed. I didn't have to go far as on the very next channel I came across VH1's latest contribution to pop culture: "TV's Illest Minority Moments."

Apparently, this is supposed to be VH1's attempt to provoke a somewhat serious discussion over how minorities have been portrayed on television. You would never know it though from the actual content of the show. To begin with, what genius executive came up with the title of the show? What the hell does that even mean?

Secondly, this attempt to analyze stereotypes on television is anything but analytic. They simply show several clips from sit-coms, almost exclusively from the 70's and early 80's, and haul in commedians to crack a few cheesy jokes. No attempt to say how this impacted society, how people reacted to the show, or how stereotypes have changed over the past 40 years. Have there been no "ill" minority moments within the past 15 years? Not only is there no analysis, but even the examples from the 70's they use are pathetic. At one point they attempt to explore the portrayal of black people as servants, yet they examples they cite are Nell Carter in "Gimme A Break" and Florence Johnston in "The Jeffersons." Their assessment is that both of these women were sassy house keepers who were not afraid to give their bosses lip. What they fail to point out though is that these cases are actually very different in that Johnston works for a black couple, while Carter for a White family. How does this impact our understanding of the stereotype. Surely this complicates the comparison significantly. Well, apparently not according to VH1 who just passes it off as an opportunity for a couple cheap jokes by getting contemporary musicians and artists to offer commentary (although VH1 just provides the race of the person, not the occupation). The show could have had a very interesting discussion looking at the portrayal of black servants working for both black and white families. They could have also examined gender differences by comparing Johnston to someone like Geoffrey on the "Fresh-Prince of Bel-Air." Hell, this would not only have let us examine the different experiences of Gender, but even class, in that Geoffry worked for the very wealthy attorney Philip Banks. But no, that would have been asking too much. . .

Furthermore, VH1 entitled the show "minority" moments? Yet, what does this mean? Apparently VH1 would have you believe minority consitutes only Africans, Latin Americans (yes, using a term this large is problematic, but let me run with it), and Asians. What about Native Americans, Arabs, and Jews (yes I realize there is also a debate over whether or not Jewishness is even a racial category)? Are these groups not also racial minorities? Why stop there though? The show is only entitled "minority." Where is TV's portrayal of Homosexuality?

Ultimately, this show falls flat on its face, and one wonders what benefit it serves. it provides no analysis, and does not help us to understand how miniority stereotypes have changed over the years. Hell, it never even tells us what "ill" means.

Ok, I've had a long day w/airplanes and all. I want to sleep.

Excuse the unclarity and disjointedness. I'm out.

The Epic Ice Hockey Tournament

Earlier tonight I engaged my brother in an epic ice hockey war on his nintendo. He won the first game, 4-3 (I was down early, but came storming back), and I defeated him in the second game 2-1. In the third game he mixed it up, moving away from his standard fat guy, middle guy, 2 skinny guy line up to play a middle guy, 3 skinny line. Needless to say this confused the heck out of me, and I looked like Drew Bledsoe trying to figure out a Bill Belicheck defense. In the 4th, epic game he played an all skinny line up versus my 3 skinny, 1 fat. The result: A scoreless three periods filled with blistering shots, and highlight reel saves. Ultimately we went to a shootout, where I fell 1-0. Epic it truly was.

Now I know some are thinking, its 3 am, and you have to leave at 10 to catch a flight back to MN. This is true, but to paraphrase the immortal Brody Bruce, "Sleep comes and goes Renee, but America, THE Commies. . . That comes along once, twice in a lifetime."

G'nite!

Hail to the Victor

Last night I played ueber-video game Czar Woobie in a fight to the death battle in his 1988 Nintendo Classic Ice Hockey game. I am happy to say I escaped victorious with a 3-2 victory, sending the mighty Mother Russia (USSR) to a well-earned victory over the USA. Now in fairness, I should add this is probably the 6th or 7th time I've played the game since returning home. In our previous clashes I was defeated by scores of 7-4, 9-2, 12-5, 654-7, and 80, 568, 573, 912-1. All of that doesn't matter though because last night I won. For one day at least, I am the ueber-lame king of nintendo games.

Hockey Game 3: Sabres 3, Lightning 1

Tonight was the third of four games in my hockey marathon. This game was especially intense in that everyone brought their game faces. As a result, I stepped my photo documuenting up a notch and took pictures of everything. Enjoy! (note, I goofed with the pictures so, they're a bit out of order.)

Since I goofed, here are the choices: 1) zzzzzzzzz. 2) If you ask him about the game, he'll go on and on about how exciting it was. Just take it with a grain of salt. 3) Ho, Ho, Ho. . . At last we have the mighty Chewbacca. . . Ho ho ho. . . (Come'on, you have to admit, there's a slight resemblance to Jabba the Hutt ;) ).

He was all smiles though after the Sabres took the lead.

I was all smiles as well. I took so many pictures during the game, everyone must have thought I was insane (no comment from the peanut gallery).

This was the fan of the game. He matched our intensity, and then took it to a whole other level. We named him "Ditka."

"I went to the dentist today, and she told me I brush with too much intensity. If I keep going the way I am, I'll brush away my gums in no time." (Yes, this quote is almost verbatim)

"Ohhhh, We're half way the-re, OOOOO-OOOOOH, Livin' on a Pray-er, Take my hand and we'll make it I swe-ar. . ." (I was singing Bon Jovi when I took this. Yes, I use the word singing loosely).

The Tampa Bay Lightning have a player named Martin St. Louis. In his honor, Joe was calling himself "Joseph Kansas City."

I gave myself the moniker "Eddie Edmonton." Also, I have no clue what I'm doing here. I think I was getting into the music or something. The night was just full of insanity. . .

Jackson Cincinnatti. . . (He seriously looks demented here, I think its because he's talking about light bulbs)

Tampa pulls the goalie, OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH, OOOOOHHHHHHHHH, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. . .

He has his complementary calenders in hand, the Sabres won, and he got a nap. The dude is happy.

Let's Go Buffalo!!!

After the game, I went out with Fabulous Freddie Fun-Bags. We quickly got bored, so we went to visit this bad-ass manager at the local theater.

Fred, admiring the candy.

Woobie, what are you trying to tell me here?

This dude is so _______. (Note, read the letters).

Still no clue we're making fun of him. :)

He just figured it out.

Me in the midst of yet another Bon Jovi medley. I don't know what was up with me. I was just really into 80's rock last night.

Fred behind the wheel.

Ok, Fred and I drove into the city and found these billboards all over. They seriously freaked me out, so I asked Fred to turn around, pull over and let me take a picture. It is almost as bad as the Jesus Mural in Minneapolis.

Restaurant employees of Western New York, do not serve this man if he comes to your establishment. He is extremely cheap, and will not tip you properly. (After he got out from work, we met woobie for a late dinner. He freaked when I told him he needed to leave more than $1 as a tip. Speaking of which, when are you going to pay me back?) 

The snow is falling, its Hockey night in Buffalo, and here are two enthusiastic fans with their game faces! Actually, this is just after I was called a "Loud-Mouthed Ass-Hole" by my father for doing one too many Rick Jeanerette impressions. I tried to get everyone in the spirit by playing his new greatest hits cd in the car on the way downtown. I don't think it worked as well as I would have liked it to.

I was so hyped for the game, I forgot to take the obligatory face-off shot. Once again, good guys in Black.

Dad double-fisting from the concessions stand. Don't get between him and his fries.

During the first period, we were told to stay in our seats for a special surprise during the intermission. This was it. I feel robbed.

Joe's game face.

Dad's game face.

Ok, I've been thinking long and hard for a caption here, and I just can't decide. So, I'll make this multiple choice.  

And I missed it

Click the title to read another article on the best show that stupid Fox is cancelling. The worst part is I missed it because I was on the road back from Jamestown.

Game 2: Sabres 1, Panthers 2

On New Years day I went to another hockey game, and then out to coffee with my parents and their friends. As you can see, it is only a matter of time before I am recounting this all to a shrink.

Downtown Buffalo. I know, It's pathetic.

It was a skeleton crew for tonights game. Just myself and the Big Enforcer. Unfortunately this combination could not generate enough enthusiasm and spirit during the game.

Game Time! Good guys in Black this time.

Fight towards the end of the game. Sadly, Buffalo lost 2-1 to Florida. Lousy Southern Hockey teams. I hate them sooooo much. . .

After the game we went to Dennys to meet some friends of my parents for coffee. Why we always come here is beyond me, but far be it from me to complain in that I always get free food out of it. In any event, the night was highlighted by a conversation about the logistics and technicalities of getting a 4 hour erection. I would go through and recreate the entire conversation again, but it would probably be to vulgar for my family-friendly blog. :)

Lets just say, this was my dad's reaction to the mere thought of it. Frightningly, mum looks awfully happy too. Ok, am I the only son who has to listen to his parents prattle on and on and on in public about sex? I have seriously just freaked myself out by simply acknowledging the fact that I had to listen to my parents talk about the logistics of Viagara. I'm even more disturbed by the fact that I am using the word "logistics" as a euphanism for what was really said. How bad was it? ...

Ok, I goofed again with sending the pics, so here's another one of my dad thinking about the wonders of sex drugs. 

I meant to tack these on at the end. . . "My Virgin Ears, My Virgin Ears, My Virgin Ears!!!!"

"I can't believe I'm listening to my parents talk about sex. I can't take them anywhere. They are so immature."

Ok, I'm supposed to be shrugging my shoulders w/befuddlement here, but upon further review, it looks more like I'm trying to Raise the Roof. 

Happy New Years

C' Novim Godom! That is my poor attempt to write Happy New Years in Russian without Russian characters.

So, Last night was New Years, and I bet you are all just dying to know how I spent the night. Well, unfortunately I did not take my camera with me. I had a very intense, inner-debate with myself over whether or not to take my bad-ass Wool WWII field coat with me for the night. Ultimately I decided no, because only a total loser would wear that thing to a bar on New Years. So, it stayed at home. The corollary to that though is that since I had no big pockets, I decided to leave my camera at home. (I know this sounds wierd and disjointed, but believe me it all makes since in my head) The upside though is my friend Catherine did take her camera, and successfully documented the evening. Click the title to go to her blogity blog blog blog!

Anyways, as Catherine already said, I spent the evening with her and my good buddy Dave (known in some circles as the one and only Gazpacho). We started out the evening at TGIFridays, which was totally dead. So, after dinner we high tailed it to Allentown, and ended up at Frizzies 5 min. before midnight. I agree with Catherine. It was wierd walking in stone cold sober to see a bunch of drunk people ringing in the new year, but we ultimately had a good time. As you can see, I got a snazzy plastic top hat, which I proudly wore for the evening. I can also add that we had a blast pointing out the faux paxs of those around us. Although this may not mean much to people who read this: the negative side of cloning, that stupid AV Club in the corner (I don't know why, but that one dude still pisses me off), and Erin if you're in the bathroom, some dude is looking for you.

All in all it was a fun night. Although I never felt so tired at 3am like I did last night. Dude, I am seriously getting old. . .

You're my Boy Blue!!!