Froehliche Weinachten?

So, yeah its been a good 4 or 5 days now since I've posted. I've been caught up in grading papers, writing papers and getting back home to Buffalo. Since coming back Thursday afternoon, my life has been seemingly one long stretch of shopping and eating at Dennys. One thing that has struck me though, is the plethora of Hummers that seem to be traversing the greater Buffalo-Niagara Falls Metro area. Since when did this place become ground zero for gas-guzzling monstrosities? Honestly, why does one need something that large and that wasteful? Will you not be able to go on living if you can't take that speed bump at 40 mph? Are you worried that you will have to hop the center barrier on the Queenston-Lewiston Bridge a 'la Joe and his 1994 Buick Century on the way to the Radiohead show in Barrie in 2002?

That is why, when my mom kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas this year (my repeated replies of "I dunno" or "I don't need anything" weren't quite good enough), I finally told her what I really wanted was to mount a bazooka on a turret on the top of our Explorer (Argh! More SUVs!!!), and retro fit it with a military strength plow, armor, and some thing with which I could launch mortars out the side windows (think Mad Max). Then I could drive around, blowing up Hummers and take out a couple of the stupid Strip Malls that seem to be endlessly expanding. Honestly, how many Bed Bath and Beyonds, or Linens n' Things does one person need. Aren't these essentially the same thing? Better yet, I could get an old Soviet T-34, throw on my Army trench coat, and claim to be the second coming of Zhukov as I bombard the new Lowes Hardware on Bailey. Do you think anyone would buy that?

Ok, I'm out. Happy Hollidays.